If you want a good life, you need a balanced life, right? I'm not so sure anymore. I have been reading ESPN radio host Colin Cowherd's book "You Herd Me!". Whether on the radio or in his book, Colin does not mix words. He says exactly what he thinks and does not apologize for it. He is also insightful, educated, and thorough. I appreciate how much research he does before he speaks. He rarely is the guy breaking the news story, but when he finally gives his opinion it is always well thought out and creative.
Having said that, in his book he writes about how the general public has this understanding that life operates best with equal parts work, family, friends, etc. He argues that successful people would disagree. He says, "Is it possible that this premise - one of our longest-held and least-questioned - is mostly one giant crock? ...How can that be? How can such a vital and universally acknowledged key to happiness not be, in fact, a key to happiness? ...I can only speak for guys since ... well, I am one. But after forty-nine years on this planet, most of it spent observing and then discussing teams and people, I'm going rogue right here: Unbalanced Guy? He's doing just fine."
This got me thinking, "When have I been the happiest?" I recall a few key instances where I was supremely happy. The first was when I worked at Tomoka Christian Church. I lived and breathed that job. I worked morning and night with the youth leader, Craig. I was often so tired after Wednesday night group I would sleep until lunch on Thursday. I lived in a hazing fog of exhaustion and sleep deprivation... and I loved it! I felt important and needed. I always had this huge sense of accomplishment because I knew I was a part of something far bigger than myself.
The second was getting married. I asked Allie to marry me without a ring because I couldn't afford one. We actually ended up making money on the ring she finally picked out because we exchanged it for all the old gold jewelry she had. Classy, right? We had a sense of pride in all of this because we were determined to have a wedding and honeymoon no matter the circumstances. We called in favors, used up our family's free plane tickets, and even accepted an invitation from her ex-boyfriend to pay for our reception hall. We were relentless in reaching our goal! When the day came to make her my wife I was literally speechless the first time I saw her. I knew we were in love and willing to battle for each other because of all we endured and sacrificed. We even found a way to spend our honeymoon in Belgium and Paris. We had exceeded our own expectations through hard work and prayer. Kissing my bride with the Eiffel Tower as the backdrop made all of our hard work extremely gratifying.
In retrospect, I have been the happiest when I was completely obsessed with something. It consumed my thoughts, drove my intentions, and drained my strength. Think back in your life and see when you were the happiest. I bet you will find it was a time when you worked incessantly on something. It could be getting a college degree, during a mission trip, preparing for and having a baby, or something of the like. Of course we need to have balance to a certain extent. I firmly believe if you exceed at a great many things and fail as a husband then you have failed. My point is that I don't want us to cruise through life. I see people everyday that half-ass their work because they aren't fully committed to it. I see husbands and wives drift a part because they aren't willing to spend the extra time needed to work through their issues. I want to be obsessed about getting to know my wife better. I want to be fully committed to my job (even if I hate it)!
In order to do these things we may have to forgo spending time with other people or work through lunch on occasion. It's worth it! Don't forget that word: Worth. I didn't say it would be easier or more relaxing. I said it will bring worth to your life and to the lives of those around you. Figure out what you truly love, what you should be deeply committed to and then get crazy obsessed about it!
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